These past few weeks have been quite heavy. The bad: (1) I lost my database on this blog, (2) lost internet connection for 2 weeks, (3) moved to another rented place, (4) my mother died without warning, and (5) we siblings have a huge bill to pay. So much in so short a time.
However, it is in these trials that we get closer to God. Believing that God is in control, that He does what is best for each of us, hope is much better, living is more filling.
I’ve had this blog for a decade now. I’ve lost its content once before. I just was not saving my database. My fault. I just started again. That was about 5 years ago. Recently I lost it again. I backed up my site. My former host got screwed up somewhere that I had to move elsewhere after a decade of excellent service. However, I missed to save the database (again), which is separate from the whole site. My fault again. The good: I get to write old topics in a new light. I do not have to think if I have written about it before because as of now, there is no record of it. I also get to give it more meaning and focus more on How Tos and Lessons Learned.
Losing the internet and moving to another place actually go together. Transfer takes time but it also involves money, which is a bit hard on the budget but we had to move. The move was not really bad except that the death of my mom happened while moving. (It’s just about 200m away from the old one so we just walk our things using a small 2-wheeled carriage.) In fact it is a move to a better location. Smaller but neater. More expensive but daughter shares. The good: internet was reconnected yesterday and the move was completely over 2 days after the funeral service. The owner of the old place gave us more than a week extension to complete our move.
My mom’s death was shocking. She’s 70 but even 3 days before she died, she was up and about with ever so clear mind. She was never on medication and the only time she complained about body aches is when she got tired because of her sewing. She was a seamstress and a very good one. When she had a checkup from a community hospital she was found to have had a heart attack with blood sugar shooting beyond 500 (they could not really say since the monitor is up to 500 only). She was sent to a nearby hospital with better facilities, stayed overnight, sent to another better hospital due to her heart condition. It was found out that she was living on half her heart. After 3 stents, only 1 worked somehow. In 24 hours after the operation, she flatlined and recovery was in vain. We were left with a very huge bill. The good: It was a relatively sweet short death. No longterm pain. She filled her 3 scores and 10 and she was good about it even before this happened. Siblings and the generation after got much closer to each other. People around let their love flow in. We had to learn to live without her.
As a result of her death, we have a huge bill to pay. The discounted bill was Php690K (roughly US$14K) but without the discounts it could have amounted to US$20k. The good: People who loved and cared for us poured in their financial help. The hospital was kind enough to give us some time to collect, however short, it is still some time. We felt the love. God really took care of us and is continually doing so. Thanks to the people who became instruments of good works. You know who you are! May God bless you more! (If you are compelled to help, please contact me.)
Change is permanent. I believe that things happen for certain reasons and we must adapt like water. God is in control. However, we have to be flexible towards God, because if man cannot, God can. He is the only stronghold we can depend upon.